Being Functionally Fluent. Embracing the Flow of Connection – Inside and Out

Our behaviour speaks volumes about how we navigate the world around us. It encompasses how we respond to various stimuli, how we conduct ourselves in intrapersonal and interpersonal interactions, and how we communicate both internally and externally.

While some behaviours are overt and easily noticeable, like the slamming of a fist on a table, many remain subtle and hidden, even from ourselves. From the pace of our breath to the tension in our jaw, or the internal dialogue we engage in, these often unseen aspects shape our behaviour and our ability to connect effectively with others.

So, what does it mean to be ‘Functionally Fluent’?!

Being "Functionally Fluent" means behaving in a way that allows and fosters connections to flow smoothly. 

Imagine a river, winding its way through the landscape – a metaphor for the art of being "Functionally Fluent." Just like this river, our behaviours shape the channels through which connections flow.

Now, visualise the river's surface – smooth and serene, forming connections and streams effortlessly. This is akin to how fluent behaviour allows connections to flow seamlessly. But here's the fascinating part: it's not just about how we interact with others; it's also about how we connect within ourselves.

Much like the river's currents, our internal dialogues, emotions, and reactions create ripples that impact our interactions. Being Functionally Fluent means understanding this dynamic dance and allowing the currents of connection to move harmoniously.

Let’s take a closer look at what that means….

On an interpersonal level, ‘Functionally Fluent’ behaviour facilitates seamless communication between individuals, enabling effective and meaningful connections.

In order to connect with others, you must first connect with yourself. Being able to connect on an intrapersonal level, is about establishing a solid connection with oneself.

Although it may sound straightforward, aligning these aspects of ourselves can be a complex and challenging endeavour. We often find it difficult to regulate our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. This can disrupt the flow of our connections with others. In these instances, our behaviour becomes an obstacle, hindering us from achieving our goals and desires.

To establish a strong connection with ourselves, we need to cultivate a state of being "with it," attuned to our internal states.

We also need to be receptive to external stimuli from others and our environment. Being ‘Grounded’, ‘Alert’ and ‘Aware’ are three of six key behavioural characteristics that contribute towards the golden, effective mode of behaviour called "Accounting"  in the Functional Fluency model.

Accounting is the gateway to restoring connections within ourselves and with others.

‘Accounting’ helps us to choose from (a combi­nation of) four clusters of effective modes of ‘Golden’ behaviour -Structuring, Nurturing, Cooperative and Spontaneous modes -  so that our behaviour becomes functionally fluent and we communicate effectively. Yet, it also recognises that we will sometimes slip into ineffective modes of behaviour (react) rather than effective modes of behaviour (respond).
 
By asking ‘How do I and others benefit?’ from our actions, we can assess the current reality. Only by taking into account all that is relevant, and considering which behaviour is helpful in each situation, are we able to exert a positive influence.

This is a uniquely human ability. Instead of reacting only on impulse, we are able to distance ourselves and assess both simple and complex problems first, before responding appropriately.
 
It is important to remember that here we are talking about behaviours and not about personalities, which frees us up to respond, instead of suffering knee-jerk reactions. Ineffective behaviour is not tied to who we are as a person, so we can learn to choose our behaviour rather than being stuck with it.
 
Once we master our behaviour in a way that is beneficial for self and others and we achieve our goals, we have become function­ally fluent and can understand and use the Functional Fluency Model to better respond, rather than react, in all kinds of situations.
 
By practising accounting behaviour, we can unlock the transformative potential of reconnecting and harmonising with ourselves and those around us. It allows us to navigate challenging situations with grace and ease, enabling effective communication, understanding, and collaboration.
 
When we are ‘Functionally Fluent’, our connections flow effortlessly, fostering a sense of belonging, trust, and mutual respect.
 
Developing Functional Fluency is a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. It requires introspection, self-reflection, and a willingness to understand and address the barriers that impede our ability to connect authentically. As we enhance our self-awareness and align our thoughts, emotions, and actions, we unlock the power to create meaningful connections and make a positive impact in our personal and professional lives.
 
As we hone our accounting behaviour, we open doors to a world where connections flow seamlessly, empowering us to achieve our aspirations and forge deeper connections with others.
 
Thrive at Life!
with Functional Fluency