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Managing family drama through the holidays effectively
“Grrrr, there’s another used teabag - just left in the sink! Don’t they know it leaves a stain? Why can’t they just throw it in the bin?”
We get it, when family comes to stay, they do things in our space that we wouldn’t do. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why, but if we don’t manage it, the smallest thing can escalate as the frustration builds.
“Do I let out a big sigh and complain? Should I say something quietly? or just keep quiet and throw it away myself? I don’t want to upset anyone, but it really irritates me”
This time of year, we often spend more time together with our families than normal, and differences in the way we do things, and the sharing of personal space can cause friction, irritation and frustration. If we are not consciously aware, we can easily use ineffective behavioural modes when things start to annoy us and that doesn’t usually end well.
We might find ourselves placating (Compliant mode) or self-denying(Marshmallowing mode) ourselves of things to please everyone else and keep the peace, or we may find ourselves blaming and bossing(Dominating mode) everyone around. Perhaps we are able to approach others with compassion and just accept(Nurturing mode) the differences in doing things.
What is important to remember is to use our Accounting mode to understand what is really going on in the present. What is really triggering the frustration? Maybe it wasn’t intentional and they were distracted, or simply forgot. Ask yourself whether it is really important or whether it is something we can just accept and let go. It’s not forever, it is only temporary, so is it really worth getting upset about?
Keep calm and centered this holiday season by using Functional Fluency!
If you are currently in a situation that you are struggling with, or wondering how you can get through the holidays and after stress and drama-free, why not take the opportunity to act out your situation in a “Get on the Mat” workshop and discover what you can do differently in the here and now to change it for the better?