(and what it’s teaching me about how I lead)
Yesterday, during my tango lesson (and yes, I take tango lessons) something landed in me.
I’m learning to follow in tango, which, as it turns out, is not about passively being led.
My teacher gently reminded me:
“It’s not about guessing or anticipating. Stay connected, feel the invitation, then respond in your own way.”
And just like that, I wasn’t thinking about the dance floor anymore. I was thinking about leadership, and also about myself, because if I’m honest, this is exactly where I get challenged.
Tango is a conversation, it is not scripted. It unfolds moment by moment through connection, and the role of the follower (my role) is deeply active. It requires trust, intuition, and interpretation.
You’re not being “led around.” You are listening with your body, shaping the dance as much as your partner. The leader doesn’t drag or push, they offer direction. They create space… and then they wait.
That “waiting” part is where I notice myself, because I don’t always wait.
More than once, I caught myself anticipating, moving too soon, trying to get it right instead of staying with what was actually happening. It’s subtle, but it changes everything, and it made me reflect on how often I might do the same when I’m leading.
Stepping in too quickly, filling the space, moving ahead of what’s really there. Not out of bad intent, just habit, or pressure, or from wanting things to move.
We live in a time of disruption and polarisation and a lot of noise that looks like leadership, but doesn’t feel like it. It often shows up as pushing, directing, being certain, but standing on that dance floor, it struck me how little that works when there is no real connection.
If the lead becomes rigid, unclear, or forceful, the dance doesn’t flow. You feel it immediately because it becomes mechanical, slightly off, like something is missing, even if the steps are technically “right.”
Tango doesn’t reward force, it asks for something else.
None of that is abstract. I can feel, in my own body, when I lose it.
Tango is teaching me that following is not passive, it's alive, present and responsive, and it makes me think differently about leadership - being in relationship with what’s unfolding. With people, with context and with the moment.
Good leadership, like good dancing, has something of that quality. You sense, you wait, you respond, and when it works, it’s no longer about who is leading and who is following. It just works.
On the way home, I found myself wondering why this is so hard. Not the steps, but the staying connected, the waiting, the responding to what’s actually there.
Because when I look at leadership around me, I don’t just see direction or decision-making. I see how quickly people move away from what really matters. It often turns into holding position: being certain, pushing forward.
And without awareness, without connection, without the ability to respond to what’s actually unfolding . . . it becomes disruptive. You can see it everywhere.
Tango keeps teaching me something I can’t ignore.
That how I show up, moment by moment, either supports connection… or disrupts it.
And that leading well is less about having all the answers…
…and more about staying aware enough to adjust.
I’m still learning that.
Every time I step onto the floor.
Love, Leona