by Ian Dunnett
Not all of it is bad (when handled respectfully, and from a place of curiosity it can in fact be creative) but some of it is bad, very bad, and the effects of that can be truly devastating to our personal wellbeing and health, to relationships and to businesses.
A personal Story:
I still carry emotional scar tissue from a conflict experience that I had with a senior manager over a prolonged period of time. On the face of it, and to an onlooker, we had I’m sure what appeared to be a healthy relationship, but the truth was oh so different!
Our relationship was toxic, and when we were in the same physical space, I immediately felt my energy sink and my ability to function well seemed to desert me (newsflash and full disclosure – the situation wasn’t all ‘his’ fault – I had an ‘input’ here too – much as I hate to admit it!).
What was my strategy in this vexed situation?
Avoidance and compliance – a strategy that didn’t serve either of us at all well! In fact – it made me ill and I didn’t know what to do!
What if, instead of trying to equip ourselves to deal with conflict by ‘just’ using our heads, we take time out to explore what our entire selves – our minds, our emotions, and critically our bodies have to ‘tell us’ about the way we respond to and deal with conflict?
What if we ‘fuel’ that exploration with a clear and accessible language and a set of (Functionally Fluent) behaviours that provide us with a ‘map’ and a choice to allow us to be our best selves, even where conflict presents?
Conflict isn’t going anywhere — but how we meet it makes all the difference. We can choose avoidance, compliance, or escalation… or we can choose awareness, curiosity, and embodiment.
That choice doesn’t just change the outcome of one situation. It changes the way we carry ourselves, the way others experience us, and the kind of culture we create in our workplaces and relationships.
If this resonates with your own story, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
On 7 October 2025, join myself (Ian Dunnett) and Leona Bishop for an experiential workshop: “Navigating Conflict: An Embodied Approach.”
Together we’ll explore:
This is more than theory — it’s a chance to practise, reflect, and step into a new way of being with conflict.
Find out more & register here: Navigating Conflict: an embodied approach (workshop)
Because when we change how we show up in conflict, we don’t just protect ourselves — we change the energy of the whole room.
